I've been reading a lot of articles lately about how other moms handle adding a second child to the mix, especially those articles when the first child is 2, or nearly 2. I have talked to every mom I know who added a second while their first was about Connor's age. Bonus points if they had a c-section and can provide insight and tips on how to heal while balancing a toddler and newborn. So far, all I've learned is that you can't really prepare for it. "It's a big adjustment." Not exactly the comfort I was looking for.
A lot of the articles I've read express the mom's fear that she can't possibly love another child as much as she loves the first. I honestly don't have that fear. I know I will love Kylar just as much as Connor because I can already feel that love growing with every kick, flip, and turn. Not to mention, I feel my heart get a little bigger with each niece and nephew, so how could it not grow with the birth of my second son?
My biggest fear is that Connor will feel slighted, watching the baby get all of my attention while Connor has to wait and do more by himself. His a very independent kid, in the he likes to do things by himself, but he wants you there and watching the whole time. I'm hoping to be able to wear Kylar most of the time, and free myself up to give Connor as much attention as possible, but that will ultimately depend on Kylar being content in my wrap.
I won't be able to pick Connor up for at least a couple weeks. The first week will be OK, because hubby will be home and he can take point with Connor while I focus on Kylar, but after that? I know we have lots of family who would love to help, but (let's be honest) I hate needing help and will want to do as much as I possibly can by myself. Plus, I don't want Connor to feel like he isn't important to me anymore by having someone else come and take care of him every day.
Maybe he wouldn't feel that way. Maybe Connor would be thrilled to have company, Mema, Grandma, aunts or uncles to play with every day, but that can't be our norm and I want to keep things as normal as possible for him. Normally, it's just he and I until daddy gets home. Not being able to pick him up with be hard, but he loves climbing, so I think I can get him to do a lot of "getting up" on things solo.
I just don't want him to be sad or feel replaced.
Get your daily Nerdy fix by following us on Instagram
Writer and Contributor for the Motherhood Community