Stop trying to make me sad

This week, I've seen countless articles about how sad these women are about their last baby, or the hole in their heart that showed up the day their husband got a vasectomy and they committed to not having any more kids. Listen up, internet, I have had my last baby and I'm excited about it! So I've decided to make a couple lists of my own.

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Things I'm happy to never experience again:
-The stress and anxiety of the entire first trimester
-"Morning sickness" that lasts 24/7 for months
-Monthly, bi-monthly, and weekly OB appointments
-Lots and lots of bloodwork
-Having to pee every hour, including overnight
-Attempting to shave when I can't even see my feet
-Feeling someone else's very hard elbow/knee/foot/head jab my insides from the inside
-Braxton-Hicks
-Contractions
-C-section 
-C-section recovery
-Giant mesh panties
-Giant hospital pads

"Lasts" that I'm looking forward to:
​-The last poop diaper
-The last time I get spit up on
-The last time I get peed on mid-diaper change
-The last time I have to carry around a spare shirt for myself because someone shared his bodily fluids with me
-The last night terror
-The last middle of the night feeding
-The last "use your fork, not your fingers"
-The last "that's not how you use a fork"
-The last tantrum
-The last fever/fussing baby from teething
-The last "don't throw that at/hit/hurt/injury (etc.) your brother" (yes, I realize the worst is yet to come with this one)

Yes, there will be things I miss, but I'm more excited about the things to come! I refuse to sit back and be made to feel sad by all these women who choose to have their last baby and immediately got upset about it when that decision was made irreversible. If you're not 1000000% sure that you're done having babies, just go on the pill or something. ​