Since having a baby, I find I have a lot less time and tolerance for certain types of people. My priorities have drastically shifted, and I just don't have time for your shit anymore. Sorry, babe, but that's the truth.
The last-minute planner. I have to rearrange my whole day to accommodate plans, pushing naptimes, shortening lunch, etc. So, if you text me at 11, asking if I wanna go to lunch at 11:30, know that I'm slapping you in my head.
The last-minute canceler. See above
The whiner. Don't start with me about how much you miss me and how much we never hang out anymore. Especially if you are one of the two previous personality types. I have a kid now. He is my number 1 (tied only with my husband). I'm sorry you feel neglected, but grow up and get over it. My son out ranks you. He should. He always will. That's life.
The casual mom. I'm a full time mom. I take care of my son 24 hours, 7 days a week. Yes, my husband is home, and of course he helps take care of Connor too, but there are never hours of time when I'm just chilling at home, alone, just "doing me". I understand that some parents don't live together, and therefore don't have the opportunities I have to be "on" all the time. Do not go on and on about how awesome you are if you are the weekend parent who actually spends their kid-weekends sitting around, playing video games while their kids are watching tv in another room. You are not an awesome parent. Arguably, you are a babysitter who doesn't get paid.
The faker. You post tons of pictures and status updates about how awesome everything is, how happy you are, how in love you are, etc, but the second we actually talk, you list everything that is wrong and how miserable you are. Be honest. I'm not saying you should vent all your personal troubles to the world, but please quit with the facade. It's annoying.
The mom faker. Basically, the same are the faker, but about their kid(s). No kid is perfect all the time. We all know that. Shut up, please.
The fitness buff. Ok, Crossfitters, I know you're having a great time and making amazing progress and life changes. Good for you! Stop trying to convert me. If I wanted to go to a gym and sweat my ass off, I would. I don't. Thanks, but no thanks. Clarification: This is not for those who are casual posters about their progress. This is for the in-your-face fitness people who only ever talk about their workouts and give far too much details about it.
The wannabe 22 year old. Look, I know my friends, and none of us are 22 anymore. For some reason, some of my friends spend most of their nights at bars, drinking and acting like fools. Unless you are actually in your early 20s, you are far too old for that shit. Grow up. You have a job, now you need to get a grown up life. Going to a bar every now and then is fun, but going every weekend (unless it's your job) is expensive and ridiculous.
Get your daily Nerdy fix by following us on Instagram
Writer and Contributor for the Motherhood Community