You may have noticed that I've been pretty inactive on here for the last few months. You may have even wondered if this was the end of my blogging career. It's not, I promise, I've just been trying to survive a very challenging season of parenting and I didn't want the blog to turn into a bitchfest where all my posts were complaining about how challenging my kids are becoming. So I opted to take a break instead.
For the record, my kids are still very challenging, but we are currently all down with a pretty intense cold, so they're more mellow at the moment, giving me a chance to breathe and think.
Earlier this month, Mike and I were discussing how to handle Connor. He's becoming more aggressive and lashing out (by throwing fits, not literally lashing out) and I have no idea how to handle him or deal with any of this. Mike made an interesting observation that broke my heart: we are being too aggressive with him. He's a very smart, capable little boy, and because of this, we tend to forget that he's only 4 years old. He's still figuring out his emotions and himself, but we keep treating him like he's much older.
I actually said to Mike "I hate the mom I'm becoming." I'm easily frustrated. Short tempered. Moody. Snippy. Sarcastic (in the mean way). I start the day out well, but by lunchtime, I've over them and the whole thing. Almost everyday. It's not good or healthy for anyone.
This week has been especially challenging because we've all (Mike and myself included) have been fighting off a beastly cold. Connor got it first, fever and all. Kylar and I managed to skip the fever part of things. Some how, Mike ended up with a borderline case of the stomach flu. All that being said, since admitting that I don't like the mom I'm becoming, I've been trying to make a conscious effort to change the way I react to things.
Here's what I'm doing differently:
While these things might not work for you, they seem to be helping all of us cope better during these tough stages.
Now, I'm not saying these changes will solve all of our problems and everything will be smooth sailing for the rest of our lives. I'm not even sure these changes will help things next week, but it's been helping so far and that's enough for me.
Parenting is hard
Stating the obvious, I know, and I know there are a million things in the world telling you how to raise the best kids ever. They are filled with amazing tips and tricks, and only 2% of them will actually work on your kid. I also guarantee that what works for one won't work for another. Kids are a challenge, but that's why we love them. They are amazing little tiny humans and it's our job to help them become amazing adults. It's not a job we take lightly, and it's certainly not a job we love all the time, but we will always love our kids and do the absolute best that we can.
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Writer and Contributor for the Motherhood Community