This weekend, we had a little swim party with a few of our friends at my in-laws house. Aside from trying very hard to not act on how stressed and anxious I was watching Connor swim with his dad, it was a fun night.
While socializing with grown ups (w00t), I learned that I have a very different interpretation of the the phrase "pampering." I realized that hubby kinda sucks at traditional pampering and I really suck at being on the receiving end of any kind of traditional pampering.
One of our friends is also pregnant right now, due exactly 3 weeks after me. Unfortunately, because of her work schedule, I haven't actually seen her since she got pregnant, but we see her husband at least once a month, so I still get updates on how things are going. Conversations with him made me realize that I'm not the pampering type. Foot massages and having someone else cook for me sounds nice, in theory. In reality? I feel guilty because I keep thinking "he doesn't need to do this. I can do it. I'm fully functional."
Hubby put lotion on my legs for me a few nights ago because I had just shaved and Kylar was being very solid and bending was physically painful. I have the kind of skin that requires lotion immediately after shaving, or it gets super dry and itchy. It was very sweet of him and I really appreciated the help, but I felt weird for needing help with something so simple.
Last night/this morning (when I was laying in bed enjoying another round of pregnancy insomnia) I came up with a list of things I could actually be genuinely happy with; no guilt, no remorse.
How to pamper your partner (pregnant or not) without actually pampering:
1. Do a load of laundry. I mean wash, dry, and put it all away. Starting a load of laundry and not completing it is actually worse than not doing anything at all If you start it, finish it, or you're just adding to my to-do list.
2. Diaper laundry. Different rules apply here. If you start it, I'll be thrilled. I'm a little particular about how it's dried and stuffed, so let me do that, but starting a load would be GREAT.
3. Primary Parent. Any time Hubby is home, Connor wants to play with him, but he still comes to me when he wants food or drink or anything at all. If you take over, even just for a couple hours, I'll be in heaven.
4. Volunteer for a poop diaper or two. Poop diapers suck. There's no two ways around it. If you step up and say, "Don't worry, I'll get this one." without any prompting or asking, I seriously won't know what to do with myself. Easily one of the best "pampering" moves you can make.
5. Clean the living room. That could be as simple as vacuuming up the dog hair. It makes the house feel cleaner and it takes something off my list.
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Writer and Contributor for the Motherhood Community