Ok, I want to take some time to talk about these so-called "Mommy Wars". For those of you who don't know, Mommy Wars refers to when moms hate on other moms for parenting "wrong", aka: differently than they do.
Raise your hand if you like having someone else's nose in your business. If you like someone telling you all the things you're doing wrong and how detrimental those things are to your loved ones/children. No? No one? If you put your hand up, put it down. We both know you're lying to yourself.
So here's my thought on the whole thing: You do you/yours and I'll do me/mine and hopefully our kids won't turn out to be criminals. You wanna breastfeed your kid into elementary school? More power to you. You wanna exclusively formula feed? That's cool, here, I have some coupons. Vegan? Ok. Gender neutral? Sure, why not. Daycare? Go for it! Quit your job to stay home? I'm glad you can afford that.
Why does it matter if I do things differently than you if both of our kids are happy and healthy? Your doc wants you to take your kid to the dentist at 1. Ok. Mine said 3, and I'm gonna defer to her knowledge. So what if my kid is rear facing until he's 8? That's a decision we would come to based on research, the advice of our doctor, and NOT you.
I make a point not to offer parenting advice unless asked. I have a 15 month old (that would be 1.25 years for those who don't like math), and I cannot tell you how many times people have offered "advice" when I never asked and really didn't want or need it.
I am a very laid back mom. My kid gets into stuff, and I just sit back and watch; see what he does and how he handles it. If he falls, I don't run to him. Again, I sit back and see what happens. If he's genuinely upset, I'll go to him, or he'll come to me. I want him to be ok with falling and not need to be intensely comforted every time. I want him to be independent. Maybe you think that's extreme, considering his age. I know my mom does. Here's the thing though: he's not your kid. He's my kid. Mine and my husband's and our opinions are literally the only ones that matter. If that bothers you, get the f*ck over it.
Mommy wars are the dumbest thing I've heard of. Stop parenting other parents just because they are doing it differently that you would. Especially if you've never been in their situation. You've only had girls and you're "advising" a mom with 3 boys. Or vice versa. Or a parent with a special needs child when you have 1 perfect "normal" kid. Stop. Just stop.
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Writer and Contributor for the Motherhood Community