Do you ever just get so frustrated with your life that you want to disappear for a couple hours? As moms, we are held to a higher standard. It's ridiculous and sexist and stupid, but we are and we judge other moms based on that same standard.
I was talking with a good friend the other day about this absurd scale that we judge moms on, and the moms vs dads scale. People don't expect dads to be parents anymore. In our society, it's impressive when a dad sticks around and helps with his children. I'm sorry, but that is beyond fucked up. Moms are expected to be Superwoman every day, but dads get commended just for showing up? I call bullshit. My friend pointed out the flipside of that: yes, people don't expect much from dads, but dads also aren't as revered as moms. As soon as he said it I thought "oh..yeah, I guess that's true."
In my experience, with all the dads I know, dading is just as hard as moming and they work very hard to be the best they can be.
Unless they're sick. Sick men are more trouble than sick babies. I know, I've had both. Usually at the same time, because my husband's immune system sucks.
Here's the thing (and the main purpose of this post), when my husband is sick, all he wants to do is sleep or rest. I'd love to do that too, but I can't. Someone has to parent. This is where I start to see why moms are more revered. You can't take a sick day as a mom, but somehow (and my husband isn't the only one, so please don't think this whole post is about bashing him) dads still manage to take sick days. Not all of them, I know, and making such a general statement will probably piss off a lot of people, but oh well. You can stop reading now if you want.
If I'm hungover, I still have to be Mom. If I didn't get enough sleep the night before, I still have to be Mom. If I'm sick (fever, migraine, nauseous) I still have to be MOM. If he's hungover, he sleeps until he feels better. If he didn't get enough sleep the night before, he sleeps until 1 in the afternoon. If he's sick, he sleeps until he feels better.
Sometimes, I want to be the dad. I know he works incredibly hard at his job (10-14 hour days, sometimes not getting home until after midnight), and I understand that he's tired. I'm tired too. I don't do manual labor all day, but my job isn't easy and I feel like that goes without notice. Yes I am a SAHM. Yes, I spend my days at home. I spend my days chasing a toddler, teaching him what is and isn't ok, cleaning up after him, the dogs, and (more often than not) my husband. Cooking, doing the laundry, maintaining the house, stepping up with our families when something needs doing. I do literally everything other than make the money to pay the bills.
Men, acknowledge and openly appreciate your SAHMs. You may think we just lay around all day, playing on Facebook, Pinterest, or shopping online, but your kids wouldn't be alive without us.
Women, acknowledge and openly appreciate your man; especially if you're a SAHM, because that wouldn't be possible without him.
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Writer and Contributor for the Motherhood Community