Doubling the number of kids in this house made me very anxious; I assumed it would mean double the trouble and double the work. It seems I'd forgotten just how much sleeping newborns actually do. Kylar is probably awake for an hour a day, not counting when he's eating. Connor is still the primary center of my day.
Kylar has been a really easy baby so far, the hardest part is that he prefers to cuddle rather than sleep on his own (overnight and throughout the day). I know this laid-back behavior won't last, but it has made for a smooth transition for us.
What I've noticed, and what I'd advice any new parent of 2 kids is this: prioritize the oldest. Connor is very observant, he notices everything about Kylar and how we handle the two of them (similarities and differences). I'm not saying you should neglect the baby, don't do that, but Connor sees when I have to take care of Kylar instead of doing something for him and he can get upset or hurt about it. Kylar doesn't care either way, he's gonna cry or fuss until you feed him. Connor is my first priority, for now, because I don't want him to feel rejected or replaced. Kylar won't feel those emotions for months (maybe years) so he won't mind if I get Connor a snack before feeding him, or refill Connor's juice before re-swaddling him.
There are very few exceptions to this standard:
If I'm already in the middle of feeding Kylar, I'm not going to stop because Connor wants a drink/snack/toy/etc. If I'm changing Kylar's diaper and Connor decides he needs something right then, he'll have to hang out for a minute or two while I finish. It's pretty simple; if I'm in the middle of something for Kylar, Connor has to wait a few minutes, otherwise I'm all his.
Although there is an exception to that rule as well:
If Connor is bleeding for any reason, that takes precedent. I will stop whatever I'm doing to take care of a bloody child. I was feeding Kylar yesterday when Connor fell and hit his face on a chair leg. Freaked him out and he got a little cut above his eye. I immediately detached Kylar, covered "enough" and cuddled Connor until he was ok again.
Priorities are everything. Make sure your firstborn doesn't feel like s/he's been replaced by making them the priority. The baby won't mind or notice a difference and the older kid will still feel very important and loved.
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Writer and Contributor for the Motherhood Community