It's hard to believe that, in 2018, women are still having to fight (some literally) to be treated as equals in so-called "developed" and "modernized" countries. Countries that claim and boast about being the best in the world, but still manage to treat half of their population as "less than" simply because we have the wrong parts. Let's get one thing straight right now: You would literally not exist if not for a woman.
We've all seen the movies, Romantic Comedies (RomComs, if you will) following a slightly dysfunctional couple through their ups and downs. Miscommunications, perceived slights, hiding true feelings, overreacting, underreacting. Then one day, they seem to magically click and get their shit together, they get married and the screen fades to credits while they share a passionate kiss at the altar, or riding away in their limo (or on horseback if they're really good) after having the perfect wedding. It seems like life if going to be all puppies and rainbows until they die, right? Bahaha!! Talk about unrealistic expectations.
Sports are a big deal for my husband. He watches all of them, despite my objections, and if it were up to him, we'd have SportsCenter on 24/7. Until about 3 years ago, I pretty much loathed all sports.
There's something to be said about a friendship based 100% on honesty and trust without even the slightest fear of being judged.
Of the 3 aforementioned people, there is one that I know I could reveal anything about myself, no matter how weird or twisted it may be, and I will receive no judgement, no "wtf?" if it is something too weird; we'll have a conversation or two about it, and move on. It's amazing, and it goes both ways.
I think everyone needs people like that in their lives. I know friends always say "you can tell me anything", but often times 'anything' just means anything they are comfortable with. It rarely literally means anything.
In my experience, people get very judgey if it's something they don't understand. Personally, you can tell me literally anything and I'll talk to you about it. If you need advice, I'll do what I can to put myself in your situation and offer insight. I might be completely off-base, but I'll try. I have many quirks and things that make me "not normal", it took me a very long time to accept that. It took me even longer (in fact, I still struggle with it) to accept that there is no such thing as "normal".
If you have an issue, talk to someone. If you have an issue with a specific person, talk to that person. If you need a sounding board to get your thoughts straight before talking to someone, I'm always here.
I've been on the receiving end of judgement too many times to ever want to turn that on someone else. I will not judge you. I might ask questions, maybe a bunch of questions, but it's only so I can fully understand what you're saying or thinking.
I used to mock the phrase "ride or die friends" because I thought it was silly. I still think the wording is silly, but I have a better understanding of the meaning now.
That you never really, truly know someone. You can know a lot about them, but no one knows everything about someone else.
There are multiple reasons for this. Sometimes it's because you don't think it matters so you don't mention it. Sometimes it's something that happened in your childhood and you've forgotten the details or just think it's old news. Sometimes it's because you know if you share that info, it will change how people look at you. And sometimes it's simply because you've been burned too many times in the past and you just don't trust people.
Regardless of the reason, my statement stands. No one knows everything about anyone.
There are 3 people in my life who know me better than anyone else. Each knows a different part of me, and each knows things the others don't, as a result of any of the aforementioned reasons. I like to think I know these three as well as they know me, but I have been proven wrong in the past about them, so there's really no way to know; thus reaffirming my initial statement.
I don't think it's all bad. Everyone has secrets; it's human nature. Not lying, but wanting privacy and something just for you. It's just truth.
In my experience, there are people who just take what they want and leave you, and there are people that give you part of themselves in exchange for you sharing part of yourself.
Those people, the ones who take and give back, are the ones you need to keep.
My three? Sometimes they take more than they give, but to be honest, sometimes I do too. As long as there's balance, things will work out.
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Writer and Contributor for the Motherhood Community