There's 80-something days left in this year. 2018 has been good to us, and I'm very excited about things that are coming in the early part of 2019, but thinking like that has already caused me to start slacking off here in the last quarter of this year. Have you had this problem?
"Why do you continue to workout if you aren't seeing any physical progress?"
I've been asking myself this particular question for the last 6 months. Why do I keep making myself workout 5-6 days a week if I'm not seeing any results? Why bother? I've debated internally and with my husband and some close friends. Why should I continue?
I did it! 3 months wearing only the same 33 items. It was definitely a learning experience but I'm excited to share what I learned with you.
I've been thinking a lot lately about who actually reads my blog. Who am I talking to when I write? Who am I hoping will read this and feel something (hopefully positive) towards my words? Who am I trying to reach?
This has been the internal debate in my mind for the last few months and I have to be honest, the more I think about it, the more I think "Eh, it couldn't hurt, right?" I mean really, where is the harm in having less stuff? Less decisions to make. Less laundry to wash, dry and put away. Less clutter and physical things to deal with.
“Put good in. Get good out.” ~Minute Maid
I’d like to reverse this quote to adapt it for your vibe with the universe “Put good out. Get good in.” If you send out good, positive, faith-filled vibes, the universe (or God, Buddha, Allah, Vishnu, or whoever you choose to put your faith and prayers into) will hear you and respond.
I've been seeing a lot of posts and articles lately about how to prevent stretch marks. How to make them disappear postpartum. How to get your pre-baby body back. How to hide/cover your c-section scar. How to make your body look the body of a 22 year old woman who's never experienced life. I have to tell you, I'm honestly sick of people implying (or outright saying) that mom bodies are less than.
I've written before about body image, and I will continue to over the course of my life and this blog. I've given a lengthy explanation/recitation of my experience with weight gain and loss and how that has effected my psyche.
Over the last month or so, I have been told by several people that I've inspired them to be healthier, drink more water, workout, eat healthier, etc. The last one makes me laugh, to be honest, because we aren't healthy eaters. Since becoming a SAHM, I cook more, which could be perceived as "eating healthy" but it's actually just because I'm cheap and saving money anyway I can. But, hey! If that motivates you, go for it!
I have always been very weight conscious. I was never really overweight, but like most teenage girls, I never felt like I was skinny enough, had a flat enough stomach, a nice enough ass, etc. I was always self conscious when I'd have to wear a swimsuit, so I mostly avoided going swimming. It was just easier to back out of swimming than be paranoid that people would look at me and think I was unattractive.
When I started dating my husband, I was around 125-130. A very good weight for my height. I thought I was pudgy.
I have this amazingly support group of moms on Facebook. The group started at a TTC (trying to conceive) spin off from a discussion board on What to Expects website. These are the same wonderful women that helped me cope with our miscarriage, accept the loss without blaming myself. We went through pregnancies together, share complaints and concerns throughout those long 9 months. They were with me through my labor, and helped me be ok with my unexpected "emergency" c-section. They even offered advice and suggestions when it came to breastfeeding, cloth diapers, sleep training. I have become very close with these women over the course of the last few years. So, when I didn't know what to do about my level of discomfort with my own body, I turned to them. I got a LOT of suggestions on what worked for them and I tried a few of them, ultimately finding and falling in love with Briana Christine of Bikini Body Mommy.
She has 5 different 90 day challenges, meal plans, recipes, coaching series, maintenance series, and now even a pregnancy series to help you get fit and healthy in the comfort of your own home. The best part? All of the 90 day challenges are 100% free. If you opt for a membership (for the other workout programs) it's $2 a month. When I started, I thought "can't hurt anything. It's free." I lost 30 pounds.
In January, when I found I was pregnant again, I was still up 20 from my pre-pregnancy weight with Connor, and ultimately 30 pounds heavier than my goal. I started her pregnancy series, but I had to stop because literally every move made me want to throw up. Instead, I just watched what I ate (more fruit, less treats) and I made a point to drink at least 64 (ideally 96) ounces of water everyday.
I am 29 weeks pregnant today. 11 to go. I've gained a grand total of 12.3 pounds. At the rate I'm currently going, I will only gain another 7 pounds by the end of this. In case you were wondering, that will put me at 10 pounds lighter on Kylar's birthday than I was on Connor's. My plan is to get back in the 130s by my 30th birthday, next year July.
Why am I telling you all of this? Why did I just spend the last 30 minutes typing out all of my weight concerns and sharing all of this overly personal information that women tend to hide and get offended about? Because I'm sick of being upset about how big I am. I'm sick of thinking there is some ideal size or that I "should" look a certain way. Here's the thing: I make people. I have, with the help of my wonderful husband, created life within my body. My body is fucking magical. I should treat it with more respect. Instead of looking at my stomach and seeing flab, I now see the starting point of our boys. I see stretch marks and think "hell yeah!"
I'm sharing all of this with all of you in the hopes that you will see my journey and know that everyone has something about themselves that they don't like. The question is this: are you going to let that thing hold you back or are you going to take it, claim it, and make yourself better for it?
I will start a mini side-blog on here covering my fitness journey once I get cleared by my doctor to start working out. I will be using Briana Christine's Bikini Body Mommy workouts and meal plans and I will get back to the 130s. Not because society says that's what size I should be (according to society, I should be 120), but because that's a healthy weight for me, as determined by doctors. I will work hard and I will get fit for my boys. The goal is to be healthy, not skinny. That should always be your goal. I need to be able to keep up with my boys and I know working out and getting fit will enable that to be my reality.
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