I have this really bad habit of stepping on the scale every morning and every night. I tell myself that it's because I like to see how much weight I lose overnight. That it's just something I do for the sake of curiosity.
I like to lie to myself and ultimately make myself feel badly on a daily basis.
I just finished day 39 of this 90 day challenge. I'm almost halfway through, which should mean that I'm seeing tons of physical results. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Every morning, I step on that scale and see something in the upper 160s. Every fucking morning.
Every afternoon, I pour my soul into my workout in the hopes that I will finally see a difference on that damned scale the next day. I monitor what I eat, trying to be as healthy as possible and eating in moderation always. I drink 96+ ounces of water every day. I drink my Willowmade protein shake every morning with my bowl of oatmeal. I'm honestly at a loss for what else I can do and I was just talking to Hubby last night about how frustrating it is to put in all this work and see no results on that stupid machine in our bathroom. I'm not giving up, because I'm stubborn and because working out has become a really got outlet for my stress, but I was getting pretty pissed.
Then I saw this on my Instagram feed:
Talk about getting exactly what you need at the exact moment you need it, right? I'm not thrilled about being 160 anything, but I can honestly say that I feel better in my own skin than I have in years. I have more confidence and more energy to play with my kids.
Most days, when we come home from playing with my mom, or doing a lot of shopping, both of the boys are passed out in their car seats. Connor tends to wake up really poorly and insists on being carried to bed, or his just sits on the floor of the garage and cries. Kylar is still very blob-like and cannot walk or carry himself to bed. Guess what that means? Yep! I get to carry an extra 40 pounds of humans from the car, through the whole damn house, and up the stairs to their respective beds. The first time I did it, I thought. "holy shit, this is going to suck. I'm going to have to put one down and they're going to scream." Much to my surprise, I didn't need to put anyone down. I made it up the stairs, a little winded but otherwise completely peachy. Talk about your nonscale victories!
I was very impressed with myself that first day, and I still get a little proud every time I've done it since. I carry them both down the stairs sometimes too (just for fun because I can). It's moments like that when I feel like a badass and like all this time spent working out, all the sore muscles, all the food-consciousness, all the water, and all the special protein drinks are worth it. All my time and effort spent trying to improve my body hasn't been for nothing.
Yes, I still get upset and frustrated when the scale doesn't change like I think it should, but that can't be how I define my success. Success comes in many forms and we should celebrate any and all victories.